Category: Dating and Relationships
Hello, I would like to pose this question. There are people, and I am admittably one of them (I am sighted), who find blindness in a potential partener something attractive. Note the difference. I guess you would not mind if a person did find you attractive despite the blindness, but I actualy find blind people more attractive because of their blndness.
I can find a sighted woman attractive as well, but there is something special on the blind ones.
The question, obviously, is, if a potential partner came to you and explained you they felt this way, would you mind? Or would you be actualy glad? Would you feel awkward?
I would wonder why?
That's two of us, I am afraid.
I am aware that there are people who are attracted to blindness itself. Aren't they called devotees? Can't say I've ever met one in my personal life, but I don't think I'd judge such people unless their behavior became inappropriate.
I actually know two men like this. One left his sighted wife for a blind woman, but even before he did that, I had heard at one time that he admitted to someone he was attracted to me. Then later I heard he was attracted to another blind woman. He did not leave his wife for me or this other blind woman but a third blind woman.
There is another man I used to correspond with until he creeped me out. But he too seemed attracted to only blind women. That is not why he creeped me out, it was because he was too pushy and aggressive that I stopped corresponding with him. He had a temper that had gotten himn into trouble on more than one occasion.
I don't really understand why people would be attracted to only blind people. But I guess it's probably not a lot different then men who prefer blondes, women with big breasts, etc.
I believe such a behavior could be explained to a certain extend. Even today, there are boarding schools, typicaly for girls, where the inmates... ehhh... students almost do not come into contact with members of the oposite sex. A former friend of mine once observed their behavior when they saw men on a stage and considered it quite strange and I believe should they come in contact with the saied men, they would not be unlike the devotees LibraLady encountered. While devotees can usualy be attracted to healthy women, the objects of their fetish will allways be somewhat special and the attraction stronger.
Now to add to the equasion, there are really too few readily available blind girls for a typical devotee to develop a healthy sexuality during their adolescence towards them. He may be OK with a normal woman, but around a blind one he feels akin to a 13 years old first seeing naked breasts when he speaks to you and the overal quality of his dating technique should be measured accordingly.
I am not saying this is good. I am not saying you should forgive them or God forbid date them. You did well in getting away, who knows if he would not be really dangerous. But it is interesting to know that the man may have not been just a pervert, and where did his aberrant and distasteful behavior come from.
I don't think it's a bad thing that you're specifically attracted to blind women. However, I think it's important to keep in mind that when you date a blind woman, you're dating someone who is a woman first, and a blind woman second. I guess what I'm trying to say in a nutshell is that you shouldn't let your preoccupation with her blindness overshadow everything to the point where you stop seeing her as a human being. I think you realize that though, and I wish you the best of luck in your search for love.
Thanks.
i dont no much on the subject, but i will say that every guy i have dated has been blind. i my self am visually impaird, and i find it kind of odd how no sighted man has ever been atracted to me. always, in all the time i have dated it has been a blind man. sometimes i wonder why is this? why cant i atract the sighted? is it something wrong with me?
This is in answer to post 9. It's very likely that nothing is wrong with you. People usually pair up with people that are around them. So for example, maybe the reason why most guys you have dated have been blind is not that something about you is turning off sighted guys, but rather, you are not around allot of sighted guys. It's possible that you might just make blind guys feel more comfortable around you, so they are attracted to you, while sighted guys might have to work harder to be noticed by you.
Or, you can be overweight!!!
Aw, that's horrible of me to say... But seriously, I've never dated a girl who was blind or visually impaired, but it's not because they are not attracted to me, or because I don't find them attractive, It’s because I, for the most part am not around allot of visually impaired or blind people. So naturally, Sighted women are the ones that are available.
As an answer to the original Poster, no, you are no pervert, but you certainly are a bit of a weirdo. I don't see a difference between someone who is into blind girls, and someone who is into Asian girls, or Black girls, or Latino Girls. For whatever the reason, this interest is really just objectifying the person, stereotyping them so they fit into a nice little frame. The thing is, when this happens, you are not looking at a person, who happens to be blind, you are looking at a blind person and thinking, oh, blindness is hot. Now, what happens when that blind person no longer wants you to see them as just the blind hotty? And, here, is where the weirdo part creeps in...
hope you find the one.
Thanks Rainbowjess.
To OK Sure (about the part when they don't want me to see them as a blind hotty): Yup, I guess this may be a problem and it is nicely paired with what I have written above about seeing them as objects of desire. When that happens, the weirdo part... and so on.
That's the biggest problem, I guess, because blind girls are so sparse, most of us assume the first one "is the one," or it "is our only chance." Nothing could be further from the truth and such reasoning is dangerous. We must allways seek girls to whom we would be attracted even if they were not blind. I know this might sound as a sort of easy to say difficult to accomplish answer, but there are blind girls in this world and indeed on this very website who more than fulfill the "criteria" for me (anyone else detesting scientific language in this subject?), and I am supremely picky in this area, so I guess there IS after all hope for people like me, if we are careful and avoid the mistakes outlined above by you and me and remeber that BLIND GIRLS ARE GIRLS FIRST AND BLIND SECOND.
Well now, Someone, I see you took the high road and didn't fall for the inflamatory remark on my behalf.
Touche Weirdo, Touche...
hey man, that's no perversion at all, we all have r types and preferences, blind or sighted people r people, it's like a woman who all ways goes for men who r buld, or someone who like skinny ones
Nah, you're not a pervert. As far as fetishes go, I've definitely heard much... stranger ones. lol Not that the stranger ones are perverted, just interesting.
As someone else said, you seem like you know that a blind woman is a woman first, and as long as you remember that, you should be able to find who you're looking for.
you sounds just like that charles guy, and, what a sick and very disturbed man he has turned out to me.
i agree mostly with everyone else. as long as you see a blind woman as a woman first, and not just focus on her blindness. as a blind woman, if i knew that a guy was only attracted to me because i'm blind and not me as a person, he'd be dumped so fast his head would spin. most blind women, me included, are very independent women, and don't like being treated any differently to sighted women. sure, there are some of us who have been in blind schools like the ones someone else was talking about earlier, but generally, we just want a man to love us, and respect our thoughts and feelings, cause we still have thoes. the only thing we don't have is our eyes.
This is an interesting topic to read. I have a good friend who is a sighted woman, but find something specifically attractive about blind men. I don't understand it, I never have. At first when she told me that she finds something about blind guys in particular attractive, I nearly got offended. However, she is friends with me and several other blind folks, and treats us as equals, so I don't think her attraction is out of maternal protectiveness or anything like that. I don't get it, but to each their own.
I wouldn't mind as long as you do not mind my brains and you yourself can think as well, that's the deal. Respect my values and that you must share at least some of it.
I'm for a blind girl alone. I got a lots and lots of sighted friends but while thinking of partnership, I can't imagine myself with a sighted girl. I was married to a blind girl earlier and due to some misunderstandings, that didn't get through and now we got divorced. even then, I'm still for a blind girl only. I personally feel another blind can only understand my feelings.
This is my personal view.
Raaj.
I personally don't see anything wrong with you being only attracted to blind girls. For a time period I only used to be attracted to sighted men, since then I've branched out but I understand how picky someone can be when it comes to stuf like that. I only hope though like previously mentioned that you would first see the woman for a woman first then a blind woman, because blind or not, she's still that hot, sweet, attractive woman, she just has reason for her blindness. Either way, I hope you find what you're looking for.
I know two men like that as well. The first had a blind wife who died quite awhile ago. He prefers to date blind woman and I recently learned he'll be marrying one next year. The second isn't actually attracted to blindness perse but seems to wanna do everything in his power to get me to use my other senses to "see" the world around me. It's like his life's mission or something. And as much as he says my blindness doesn't matter, he brings it up in every conversation that we have. At the most extreme, and I'm not making this up, honestly, there are people who actually want to be blind. I'm talking fully sighted, otherwise healthy people. There's a group of them called Wanna Be Blind 2 on Yahoo. Maybe, it's all one word. Anyway, my first friend told me about them, though he doesn't wanna be one of us. I joined just for the hell of it and it's pretty quiet but I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that there are people who want to be blind! I mean, being attracted to us, admiring us, even studying us as scholars is one thint. Butthat? I think it's called Body Identity Disorder. Then again, my fetishes are a bit strange too, so I shouldn't talk. Btw, totally agreed with post 7. Even if I were to find the mangas of my dreams, I'd need to see him as a man first and as whatever second. But I also find that I'm attracted to sighted men in general and would prefer one of those to a blind one. It's not that I would never consider one, I just feel more comfortable around someone who can see.